Already True
I was considering writing about boundaries today. But I think I'm seeing a deeper theme here that I'd like to write about, that applies to alot of things I think are really important.
This theme is that: what's true is already true. I think with a lot of self discovery stuff, it comes down to learning things about ourselves that we didn't know. That perhaps we were hiding from ourselves, with good reasons.
If we want something, it's already the case that we want it. It's extremely simple when it comes down to it. But we tend to make things complicated, by not accepting what's really true about ourselves. What's really true might be against what society tells is moral or ethical. If may also go against the ingrained belief systems that we grew up with, or the values of the wider culture. It might fly in the face of all of that. But what's true is already true. Better to accept it than to deny it from ourselves.
The truth can be a scary thing, but in the end, it's already the case isn't it? The person you are and the thoughts you have and the things you feel.. the judgements, the concerns, all your flaws and virtues... all of it already the case.
You had a thought that you don't like? Then it's true you had the thought, and that you don't like it. You have feelings in your body that are unpleasant? Then you have feelings in your body, and you find them unpleasant. You put on a mask with others, and don't reveal your true self? Well, then you're doing all that. No judgement, of course :).
So why is this important?
It's true that aligning one's life to what is true can be really painful. Often we don't want to accept the truth and struggle against it, which creates a lot of suffering. Ultimately deep down the reason we fight the truth is that there are things we don't want to feel. Pain or trauma, heartbreak, fear, rage, shame, and so on.
It's very understandable that we avoid these difficult feelings. But in the end, it turns out that we can feel the things we didn't think we could, and we become more human when we do that.
Human is the right word for it: we become willing and able to feel deeply, and our experience of life becomes rich and full. This is only possible when we're willing to face what we don't want to feel.
When one discovers and accepts what's true about oneself, it tends to cut away the inessential and create a clear space for life to take place and for the human being to be there.
In my looking into what's true about myself, I've found that when I land upon something true, it often has a certain feeling quality. A certain 'simplicity' or 'is-ness' to it. It's often surprisingly how simple it is. I mention this because I think we can develop a taste for noticing what's true about ourselves, and that this is a good thing to do.
The truth can be brutal and unforgiving in a very real way. It doesn't need to care about your personal belief systems or values. It certainly doesn't need to care that you're in pain about it. And yet nothing can exist that is not itself--so really truth is the most fundamental thing there is. It's already the case, it's already true. No matter what we might think about that.
I think coming to terms with the truth is worth it, in the end.